may 29, 2013; 8:29pm

I looked
for my father
in all
of the wrong
places
he was not
in india
he was not
in heaven
he was not
in the needles
pussy or booze
I am
my own
father
and I know
how it works
and I know
why we
are here
and it makes
everything
as beautiful
as it does
terrifying

may 21, 2013; 11:33pm

you’ve dozed off
and I wonder
what you’re dreaming
and if I
play a part

is it all
candy or demons
now that you
can’t control it

is there meaning
in the chaos
of the unconscious

is there hope
for the future

are you aware

may 19, 2013: 1:19am

I don’t
want to
be you
or see
the world
your way
I don’t
believe it
is true
so much
trouble for
simple things
and all
getting in
the way
of finding
the answer
to the
question I
have had
all along

may 14, 2013; 7:14pm

I found
that love
was hard
too hard
for me
so I
gave up
to pursue
my loneliness
that I
was meant
to bear
and turned
to drugs
and turned
to booze
and turned
myself into
the man
I will
die as

may 9, 2013; 8:55pm

I want
to live
inside you
to be
safe all
the time
to be
a part
of you
I want
your feelings
I want
your thoughts
I want
to be
as beautiful
as you
I want
my pussy
rubbed raw
to cum
the way
you do
and I
know that
god wants
that too

may 7, 2013; 7:50pm

we build
the prisons
in which
we hide
and think
that escape
is impossible
even though
they do
not exist
because everyone
tells us
that they
are real

may 1, 2013; 11:15pm

the hallway
was black
and cold
as hell
I could
feel the ghosts
along the walls
they reached
for me
brushing against
my skin
allowing me
to see
the world
as death
I continued
only because
I knew you
were down there
I knew you
needed me