october 31, 2012; 8:38am

there was
a church
a boy
a god
and saints
and mary
and beauty
that lived
in innocence
in gardens
far away
with satan
standing beyond
the gates
hiding behind
the masks
of society
planting sin
in soul
and mind

the book
of life
is written
the pages
are coming
to life
and quickly
running out

the old country church

we can
go on
and pretend
and pretend
like things
are good
or dig
somewhere within
to find
the reality
that we
call truth
to find
the truth
that we
call god

october 30, 2012; 7:02pm

suck the dick
cocksucker
life is short
take all
that you can
and beg
for more
temporary ecstasy
of orgasm
making you forget
how near
the end
really is

the end #12

the winds
of the end
are picking up
bringing a chill
and hardship
to test
the will
of our souls
blow wind blow
shift this world
end this world
let me realize
what is in
my bones
my heart
my destiny

the end #11

this feeling
it comes
and goes
it barks
and bites
it rapes
and pillages
and after
foreboding clouds
of change
swirl above
planting confusion

I inch
towards edge
and know
that I
cannot fly
but it
will be
a sweet
sweet fall

the end #10

I sit
and smoke
and think
this night
feels long
longer than
last night
tomorrow night
may be
too much
I need
more drugs
to pass
the time
to ease
this pain
this pain
of love
this pain
of death
and quietly
I pray
to myself
for clarity
and wish
this world
would end

october 24, 2012; 12:43pm

big empty blue sky of tennessee
reminding me of science class
in elementary school
when I looked up
wondering for the first time
how big it all really was
and knowing every eye
sees the same thing
and feeling a piece
of the universe inside me

october 23, 2012; 10:19pm

the balance
has returned
the world
is beautiful
the evil
has retreated
and good
forgotten good
is shining
upon me
once again

october 20, 2012; 10:55pm

things look like shit
and times are harder than hell
but it will be blue again
I have people around me
I’m not some junkie
who doesn’t talk to his parents
I’m a junkie whose parents
don’t know I’m a junkie
and keep feeding me money
and feeding me love
and believe that one day
I will go to church again
and I don’t fuck out of wedlock
fate was a book written long ago
and we are acting out the pages

the end #9

I tripped
and fell
from heaven
to hell
and found
no way
to get
back home

these demons
are angry
and hungry
with faces
of hearts
that I
have broken

my lies
being repeated
in voices
ugly as
they are

this world
I’ve made
of falsities
and fucking
is fading

slow death
for boys
that live
like sin
never was
and never
will be