she

the day
I lost
my love
the leaves
turned grey
and fell
like stones
each hitting
my heart
and echoing
sad death

the day
I lost
my love
the sky
caught fire
like Revelation
the beast
rose up
and devoured
all perfection
leaving rubble
and tears
and loneliness

the day
I lost
my love
the universe
spun on
slightly slower
somewhat stinging
but still
spun on

the day
I lost
my love
any reality
seemed useless
and living
felt dishonest

the day
I lost
my love
I died
for the
first time
my eyes
were closing
and as
I saw
her face
her tears
that ran
like rain
into an
open grave
I felt
like jesus
hanging from
the cross
so naked
and shaking

august 29, 2012; 9:01pm

we are
stuttering gods
eternally repeating
our mistakes
we try
to change
with each
new life
but somehow
these patterns
so deep
within us
remain intact
through thousands
of incarnations

august 29, 2012; 1:14pm

hold on
the devil
is coming
be still
he wants
you sinner
thine hand
did wander
and strike
the innocent

hold on
the devil
is coming
safety is
a word
you used
to know

august 28, 2012; 6:24pm

I lock myself away
to be alone
with my thoughts
loving & nostalgic
or
violent & arousing
all received equally
lessons extracted
problems evaluated
reality questioned
for one day
the door will open
clutching my heart
and grinning
I will pass through

I

I followed you
ended up wandering
I prayed to you
ended up desolate
I cried to you
ended up blind
I believed in you
ended up bitter
I left you
ended up better
I found I
ended in rapture

august 25, 2012; 9:42pm

she reached
into the night
collecting stars
in her hand
keeping them
next to her heart
to remind her
that she is
never truly alone

august 25, 2012; 5:45pm

the day
you left
I burnt
my wrist
I wanted
a scar
so I
would never
forget you

your light is on (version 2)

your light
is on
you must
be up
sweet dreams
avoid you
none of
my business
we have
never met
waved couple
of times
you glance
quickly up
each time
as you
pass by
I caught
you once
meeting eyes
and then
you stopped
but now
sleepily awake
I wonder
if you
are thinking
of me

your light is on (version 1)

your light
is on
you must
be up
and worrying
about me
I am
the night
I am
the unknown
my spirit
shifts in
the shadows
turning dreams
into nightmares

clothes

to confine
with clothes
to restrict
the body
to cage
the soul
to define
the self
with their
sweatshop words
to hide
your truth
from yourself
and others